Best News (Possibly Ever!)

 

American Goldfinch pondering his next move

After waiting for 15 days post-surgery I finally have my pathology results. The lymph nodes were all negative and the margins were clear. What this means right now is I don't have to do any radiation treatments. Most likely will not have to do chemotherapy, but I can't rule it out yet.  Pathology confirmed the type of cancer being invasive lobular carcinoma (LCIS) with the greatest size being about 12 mm in the right breast.  The official staging would then be called Stage 1 Breast Cancer.  We will be following up with a medical oncology team in St. Louis with Washington University Physicians/Siteman Cancer Center. There is another test we are once again waiting on to help make that decision for or against chemotherapy.  Determining if chemotherapy is necessary is a very complex and layered decision.  Each case of cancer is treated specifically to patient needs, diagnostic test results, and the wisdom of a team of oncology doctors. Although the news I received today is excellent I still don't know what the future weeks and months may look like. We will also be exploring the possibility of hormone therapy.  We did see the plastic surgeon doctor and everything is healing and moving along as expected.  I was thankfully able to get the drain tubes out today.  I'm still not driving and am very limited in my upper body movements.  So for now, I'm home following the doctor's orders to rest and heal.            

Northern Cardinal and a Rose Breasted Grossbeak search for seeds on the ground

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

So I'm trying to focus on what I can do and not what I want to do.  They are entirely two different things. I know it sounds crazy but I love to clean.  For some reason, it gives me great satisfaction and joy to complete a cleaning job.  As I have been home for 2 weeks now I see all the cleaning projects that need to be done. The thing is, I can't do them myself. Another day. So instead I'm trying to focus on what I can do. I do close my eyes a lot and that is okay also.  I have fixed myself a corner seat by the window in my living room.  Last weekend I got the boys to get me a new bird feeder.   It is amazing how many birds have visited the feeder in just 4 days' time.  They are spunky, fast, and beautiful creatures.  So diverse in color, shape, and size.  They are wild and free. Not a care in the world. There is an obvious pecking order around the feeder. The sounds of birds singing and chirping can be heard as the breeze blows through the newly outstretched leaves of the pin oak and redbud trees. Some of the seed falls to the ground and the birds swarm the grass below in search of a tasty morsel.  It reminds me of the parable of the sower. Couldn't you spare to hear some good news? Let me tell you about the best Good News ever. 

One day Jesus told a story in the form of a parable to a large crowd that had gathered from many towns to hear him:

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 Luk 8:5

“A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it.

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 Luk 8:6

Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture.

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 Luk 8:7

Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants.

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 Luk 8:8

The parable explained:

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 Luk 8:11

¶

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God’s word.

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 Luk 8:12

The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved.

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 Luk 8:13

The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation.

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 Luk 8:14

The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity.

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 Luk 8:15

The question is what type of ground do you possess? What is your soil like? There are four options:

1. Footpath or wayside -- distractions of this world are overshadowing the truth and you lose faith.

2, Rocky ground --roots can't go deep and are swayed by the temptations of this world.

3. Thorns- pushed away due to cares, riches, and pleasures in life.

4.  Good soil -- fruit will come in season   

It's a matter of the soil of your heart. Are you hearing this? God's word is the seed.  

It depends on the soil condition of your heart for the seed to bring forth fruit. Everyone hears the message. 

It depends on what you do with the seed. Fruit comes when the harvest is ready -- that is a season.  Notice that

patience is required for the harvest. Patience, I have come to find out has a close cousin: waiting.

The harvest is coming. 

Blue Jay

And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest.

Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!” When he had said this, he called out, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”    

How Waiting Brings Courage and Strength

We wait for a lot of things in life. We wait for payday hoping we haven't overdrawn our bank account once again.  We wait for Christmas Day to arrive full of brown paper packages, pretty bows, and stockings full. We wait for babies to be born and everyone knows that babies arrive only when babies are ready to arrive.  We wait for test results and agonize over the what-if questions that loom over us. We wait for the red lights to turn green.  We wait for the right job, the right guy or gal,  We wait in line at the grocery store and tell our children, just wait as they beg and whine for candy. We wait for loved ones to pass into eternity and end their earthly pilgrimage. We wait. We wait for a lot of things.  We wait for God to speak to us in the waiting. But why are we so impatient in the waiting?

This last week has been a hard one. It has been seven days since my mastectomy surgery.  On the third day of my recovery, I found out that my father slipped into eternity to forever be with the Lord. Deep sadness and grief flooded my heart.  We knew the time was coming, so we were waiting. It wasn't a surprise. Truly it was an answer to prayer as my Dad had been unable to walk since last November. My Dad was 89 years old. I have many fond memories of my Dad growing up as a child as well as my adult married years. He will be missed greatly.

In the waiting for my own healing this week I have been doing some deep pondering. It's a good thing. To wait is to stay or delay action until a particular time comes or something changes in your circumstances. I've been told to wait and heal. Just rest, sleep, and basically do nothing until the next doctor's appointment. This has struck me differently this time around. There is a purpose in the waiting: patience. 

Patience is having the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. I certainly can think of many times I have not had patience. Delay is similar to waiting for something to happen that you can't control. Delay also eludes to something late or happening slowly. As a basketball coach, one thing I really get frustrated with players is a lack of hustle. Do it right, do it now, and do it fast. I don't like waiting around for the girls to put the balls up on the rack. Run and put your ball away and return to the location instructed. Patience is a learned character trait. I must continue to work on that.

I've learned that God can handle the hurt, pain, and hard questions we have. You have to train for marathons. This life journey we are living is like a marathon.  You never know when you might find yourself in a season of waiting.  So you have to train like you aren't in a marathon so that when the hard waiting comes you are ready. Storms reveal foundations. Build a foundation that can't be washed away. God won't waste your pain. 

"And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Know this: your strength will fail you. You can't do it on your own strength, merit, or will. Nope! Here is where it gets so interesting. God knows this about us. He knows we are weak. He knows we will lose hope. But God provides a way for us to find courage and strength in the midst of waiting - waiting in the storms of life full of death, heartache, pain, suffering, you name it. So what do you do in this desperate time?

You wait on the Lord.

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength:

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isiah 40:31

Friends I hope you find as much courage and strength in those words as I do. This season of waiting is full of waiting on the Lord. Just waiting. 

 "It takes courage to keep dreaming when the circumstances that surround you make it seem as though your life is more like a nightmare loop than a dream come true." Jordan Lee Dooley

Post Surgery Update

The surgery went very well on Monday, April 18, 2022.  The entire team of doctors and nurses were wonderful at Washington University, Barnes-Jewish, and the Center for Advanced Medicine. They were very caring and asked lots of questions to ensure I was comfortable with what they were doing.  My surgery lasted about 3 hours.  I spent most of the day in recovery.  We were discharged late afternoon and stayed in a hotel overnight. We made it overnight and went home late morning.  Glad to be back home with my family.  

The pain associated with this surgery is rather intense.  We are keeping up with medications and I'm not allowed to do really anything but lay down or sit on the couch.  I still have the drain tubes in on both sides and they require attention every few hours.  Today -- is Thursday -- I'm losing track of the days! I was able to take a shower and wash my hair.  That felt really good. I am very tired, very sore, and in a foggy state of mind.  I know in time it will get better.

I appreciate all the messages and encouraging words.  I'm not up to visitors just yet. If you are wanting to help out with a meal or donation please email me or message me.  I have been keeping my phone on silent so I can sleep.  I will get back to you when I am available.

At this point, we are just waiting for the pathology reports to be completed.  I hope to hear something by Friday but it may just be next week.  I will travel back to St. Louis on Tuesday, April 26 for the drain tubes to be removed and to see the plastic surgeon doctor.  

Thank you for all your prayers! 

It's About Time: Real Time

What is it about time?  Twenty-four hours a day. Three-hundred and sixty-five days a year. We all have the same amount of time in a day to spend. It seems to be slipping away day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. I've been asking myself many questions about my time.  How am I spending it?  What do I spend my time on? Who do I spend my time with? Where do I spend my time?

Time off

    Time out

            Time in

                Timeframe

                    Timekeeper

                        Timecards

                            Timesaving

                                Timelines

                                    Timeless

Around my neck of the woods were are waiting for the grass to grow.  We measure time by the seasons and we predict that the climate would be warm(er) than it is this April. The cattle are hungry and no grass will grow with the cold temperatures. It gets a start and then frost comes and burns it back.  We are buying time, hoping the grass grows as we empty the hay from the barn.  It will get warmer, and the grass will grow. Maybe the grass will grow just in time. Do we wait it out and let time keep ticking day after day, or do we sell down the herd? Time will tell.

Time is ticking away...tick...tick...tick

Driving to a game

The music industry has had some popular songs including "time" in the title.Sometimes we wish we could go back in time.  Turn the clocks back to the "good old days."  What are those anyway? I remember when my boys were little.  The days of diapers, naps, and sleepless nights.  But now it is rushing from one sporting event to another, staying up late to finish geometry, and getting up early for another practice.  The tires on my truck see more of the road and I see less of my pillow.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Quality time together is what we all crave and need. It costs me my time. Lots of time spent in the truck driving. We spend time together as a family and these moments are the memories I want my kids to have with them when they leave the nest. Memories of Mom and Dad sacrificing their time to make time for them.  We can buy our kids all the latest gadgets but really what they want is quality time with us. 

The music industry has given us many songs written about time.  List of 100 songs with "time" in the title. Here is a list of 10 of them:

1. “One Moment in Time” by Whitney Houston

2. “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper

3. “Love me Two Times” by The Doors

4. “Time is on my Side” by The Rolling Stones

5. “Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?” by Chicago

6. “Time of my Life” by David Cook

7. “Any Time at all” by The Beatles

8. “Too Much Time on my Hands” by Styx

9. “Big Time” by Peter Gabriel

Baseball Practice

10. “One Time” by Justin Bieber

The list goes on and on. You get the point. I keep going back to the beginning of time. To the One who created time, holds time, and makes time. What is time anyway? Can you define it? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, time is defined as a) the measured period in which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: duration. b) a nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events that succeed one another from past through present future.               

To me, it seems that time is both passing me by and standing still.  It's as if I can see my life the way I think it should be happening but I'm outside of time.  I'm on some sort of timewarp frozen in time.  It's like a giant stopwatch is running on one lap but I'm stuck on the sideline just watching. I don't want to miss anything.  I want to be present, at the moment, right now enjoying it all.  That is what I intend to do -- cancer and all.  I want to live in real-time. Carpe Diem. 

How to Slow Down Time (Taken from this article)

Outside of taking a trip into space, and away from Earth's gravity well, there is a way to slow down time – at least from your own perspective. This has nothing to do with the physics and nature of time itself, but how fast or slow life feels to each of us.

Some researchers say that exposing yourself to new experiences or environments can actually make time seem to pass slower. This may be to do with the amount of information our brains have to take in and process – when we're young or learning something new, the world seems to slow down. As we get older and get into a routine, the days and years seem to speed by.

Unless you have a spacecraft, none of this is going to make you age any slower (sorry), but knowing that time is a little more bendy than many of us think it is can be a reminder that we have our own ability to alter our perception of how fast the days pass - if only a little.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

So maybe this second go-around with cancer will help me to slow down time in my own life.  If I can only remember to take more time to process everything that is happening!  We have a fascination with time. So much to do and so little time. Speaking of time I am almost to my surgery time! Many have asked how they can help me and my family out and I wanted to share that here. I am thankful for health insurance and a job to support the grand expense of surgery, hospital stay, doctor fees, and the list goes on.  We will have travel costs of fuel and lodging. The hospital is 3 hours from home for me. If you feel like helping that is great, but please do not feel obligated.  I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and prayers. For those of you that are local (in Missouri), we do have a few folks helping to arrange meals. Please send me an email if you want to help with that.  Another idea is to send gift cards from local restaurants.  I will not be driving for about 4-6 weeks and will rely on my husband and oldest son to pick up items for our family.

A savings account has been set up in the name of Anna Luhers at West Plains Bank and Trust. Deposits can be made in Anna's name to any local area branch. If you are not from Missouri you can reach the bank here: WPBT  Any questions regarding financial donations please reach out to Lisa Pruett @ lpruett@liberty.mvbt.k12.mo.us.  

"To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

LMS Dance "Hollywood Night" 

Attitude and Altitude

After waiting another long week, I finally have a surgery date of April 18, the day after Easter. Let the countdown begin!  So 22 days of waiting, pondering, and lots of praying.  

I have really been struggling with my attitude and feeling sorry for myself  It is easy to get in a funk mentally and extremely difficult to fight out of it. The battlefield of your mind is a real thing. The enemy uses our thoughts to plant ideas that are in direct conflict with God’s Word. I thought I would share a few ways I’m constantly battling the enemy. It seems that I have a target on my back as well as my mind.  First, you have to start with your identity. Ask yourself, “who am I?” Who I am can be found on many pages of the Word. God tells me over and over again who I am in Christ.  Secondly, you have to recognize the enemy is at work trying to destroy you from the inside out. Call it what it is.  Call out the enemy for being a liar.  Third, you need to replace those negative thoughts with the truth.

WHO I AM IN CHRIST ORIGINALLY COMPILED BY NEIL ANDERSON

I AM ACCEPTED... John 1:12 I am God's child. John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 I have been justified (declared righteous). 1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. 1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body. Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. 

I AM SECURE... Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God. Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God. Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven. 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. 

 I AM SIGNIFICANT... John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God. Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship. Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

These simple truths remind me of who I am in Christ.  God is in control, and I am not. I can't change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude about the circumstance. When my attitude is positive and focused on Christ my circumstances don't own me.  I agree with Jon Courson, when he states, "Because we exist for God, gang (not the other way around), our part is to say, 'However He wants to direct His drama on the stage of my life, be it a comedy or a tragedy, so be it.'" 

Keep the faith, fight the good fight, and control your attitude -- God will take care of the details.  

"You're attitude determines you're altitude."  Zig Ziglar

Siteman Cancer Center - Update from March 15

Yesterday was a wonderful day.  We were seen quickly by the oncology surgeon who was caring, compassionate, and easy to talk to.  Dr. M was everything I expected and then some.  She reassured this Google searching crazy science girl to not stress. Not a problem at all to have a bilateral mastectomy! She has been practicing for over 20 years and can't say "definitely" but with some confidence, this type of cancer has been detected early and we are in no hurry to operate. 

With that said I am still waiting for a surgery date.  (Big sigh....)

I did not need any additional imaging tests done yesterday. We visited for some time in her office and then she made a phone call to a colleague of hers, a plastic surgeon who was only one floor up in the CAM building at Siteman. I was amazed because we left one office and went directly to the plastic surgeon's office and literally waited maybe 10 minutes to be seen. I thought I would have time to take a few more pictures but seriously everything went so quick and smooth! We visited for a long time with Dr. B, a plastic surgeon about reconstruction. I had a lot of questions/concerns but ultimately felt much better about my decisions after visiting with Dr. B. So at this point, I am waiting on a phone call that coordinates both the oncology surgeon, the plastic surgeon and operating room availability. It could be up to 4 weeks wait. (Big sigh...again)  I was assured the urgency is not as great as I was told previously.  Again, we will have to wait for post-surgery results of lymph nodes to determine what treatment steps will be necessary. I feel so much about this decision to go to St. Louis!

Thank you again for all the cards, text messages, and Facebook comments.  I really appreciate all of you and knowing that so many care and are praying for myself and my family. At this point, I most likely will get to stay at school a few more weeks.  I am really glad because in Missouri 8th grade science students take a MAP (Missouri Assessment Program) test and I really want to continue preparing my students for this assessment.  Being a first-year teacher myself, all of this is new and I am eager to learn more along with my students. This makes me super happy knowing God cares about the smaller details in my world. Grateful for the support my school family has graciously offered to me in this uncertain time. (LMS family:  you know who you are!) I will update once again when I have more information everyone. Several have asked about how they can help our family during this season.  I am working on some ideas for this.  Stay tuned as I will be posting more about how you can each help.

Welcome to the Buffering Zone

 You know the feeling.  It's the one you get when the screen pauses, the little arrow circle spins in slow-motion, the video you are watching just stops playing and you have to wait.  You are waiting and waiting and you think to yourself will it ever load?  Is my connection down, is the internet broken, maybe my battery is running low, did I drop my WiFi and I'm roaming now??? Yeah, we've all been there.  Buffering is a lot like waiting.

I discovered something about the meaning of buffering -- the literal meaning of the word buffer as a verb, it means: to lessen or moderate the impact of something. Pondering that. I believe God has a purpose for all this buffering in my life.  All this time spent: waiting. Waiting for test results. Waiting for doctor appointments.  Waiting for surgery. Waiting for news, any news. It's in the waiting we learn life lessons, we hear the voice of God calling our name, we put our roots down a little deeper.

God is using the waiting time, this buffering, as a shield around me because if he was to deliver all the news at once it would be too much to handle. This is His way of teaching me to trust Him more, to prioritize what is important, to slow down and cherish each day, each moment, every memory. The buffering is like a protection zone.  It's the calm before the storm.  I know the storm is coming.  The hard part is coming. I keep telling myself to hold on.

Lamentations 3:5 "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him."

Psalm 62:5 "My soul, waits silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him alone."

Psalm42:1 "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You O Lord."

How many deer do you see???

B: Brave, Bold, Breathe

U: Unity, Understanding, Undone

F: Faith, Family, Fullness

F: Fear, Fellowship, Future

E: Encouragement, Engagement, Epic

R: Rejoicing, Reading, Relaxing

I: Intercessor, Intelligent, Influential

N: Never-ending, New, Navigate

G: Goodness, Greatness, Grace

February 4, 2022, was the day I found out I had breast cancer.  It has been a long 39 days.  Today (3/15/2022) I go to Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis, MO, and meet with a new team of oncology doctors and surgeons. I am eager and filled with great anticipation for their advice and expertise.

I will post an update again when I have more information from my visit. Keep praying and posting comments. I love to hear from each of you!