This blog exists to declare His greatness and faithfulness in my life; in the flesh, on paper and in this cyber blog world. It is my desire to share what I have learned (and am still learning) through over-coming cancer and to offer hope and encouragement to others.
It is important to make your house a home. I learned this during my days at home resting. Simple things like flowers form the garden, road side wild-flowers and nature items can help make a beautiful arrangement. It's bringing a piece of the outdoors in. Bringing the beauty indoors brings light, love and happiness to a room. These things make a person feel loved and cherished. The best part is these ideas don't cost any money. My favorite item to bring from outside are sunflowers. I would go out and cut several handfuls of them and trim off the leaves. Then I would place then in a vase or a large canning mason jar. If I was feeling fancy I might even find some raffia and tie it around the vase or jar.
Beauty is everywhere. Focusing on beauty around us points to creation, which leads us to our Creator. Pondering our Creator is a great way to celebrate beauty. He created it all. It is here to declare his presence and glory. We stand amazed at what His hands have made. So much of what He made is naked to the human eye. But what we can see is often hard to comprehend. The details of His work remind us of His love and care for all.
"For since the creation of the world His
invisible [attributes] are clearly seen, being understood by the things
that are made, [even] His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are
without excuse." Romans 1:20
"For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God". Romans 8:19
So we wait just like creation for the return of Christ. The true Beauty Maker.
It takes courage to fight. It takes courage to face uncertainty. It takes courage to do the right thing. It takes courage to be authentic. Courage is hard, but not impossible.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Joshua chapter 1. It says, ""Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be
afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God [is] with you wherever
you go."Joshua 1:9 I love this verse for several reasons. It reminds me that it is a commandment from God to be strong and be courageous; for He will be with me always. That is a great reminder! I also love that it addresses my feelings. My feelings can often cloud my vision and direction I may be traveling. Whenever I read the words do not be afraid, God is addressing my underlying fears. I may not show fear, but deep down I am scared to death. When I had to start chemotherapy I was scared to death. I may not have showed it but I was. I did not know what my body was going to do in response to the drugs in my system. This fear escalated when I had an allergic reaction on the 9th round of chemo. You can read more about that is my post here Waters Rising. Now that I am on the other side of that incident I can honestly say that took some courage to face. I could not have done it with out these words of Joshua 1:9. Did you know that in the Bible the phrase, "do not be afraid" occurs 50 times? I must not be the only one who struggles with fear!
Having courage equips you to fight, face uncertainty, do the right thing and be authentic. It is from God and not of man. We were made to be courageous.
I like this clip from the move "Courageous." This is talking about Fathers and their God given responsibility. I like the resolution factor. I like that it takes courage to agree to a resolution. It's making a commitment to be courageous. For that I am a huge fan. After facing cancer, I have vowed to myself and my family to be courageous. I can face anything after facing that. The best part is I know I won't be alone.
It can all be summed up quite simply: Die to self, period. If it were
only that easy to follow and practice moment by moment. The real secret
isn't found in a magic formula or a twelve step program. It really
isn't about reading books by well known authors. Yet they do help shed
light on the TRUTH of the WORD. This is this gold nugget. The cherry
on top of the ice cream sundae. More of Him and less of me. This can
only happen when I am willing to obey His Word. Everything around me is
affected by my ability to deny self and put others first. My
relationships will improve as I become more like Him. When I remember to put others first and forget my needs. So simple, yet so hard to actually do.
It's easy to get pre-occupied with self. I have so many tasks at hand. I have so many things just for me. Our culture is engulfed with the mantra of me first, take care of number one and push others away to be superior at all cost. This notion of entitlement and deserve has been birthed out a long coming twisted way of stinky thinking. We have now created a society of narcissist individuals all competing for attention. I have to admit I enjoy watching shows like American Idol, or Britain's Got Talent or some other reality star search show. The sad truth is everyone is super insecure and empty on the inside. Yet on the outside we are rich, maybe famous and beautiful. At least that is what we portray on Facebook and to the world we hope is looking. What good does this do? None.
We must not be self-absorbed but other-absorbed. We were created in Christ Jesus to do good works. These good works aren't for our own benefit. They are to benefit others. We have been given much so we can give much. We are blessed in order to bless others.
Berry Pie for a friend!
During my chemotherapy I felt like others were paying closer attention to me. I guess for good reason. They were genuinely concerned. I also think they were wondering how I would react to the treatments, what my attitude would be and what I was thinking. I guess that is really why I started to write in the first place. I wanted others to know about my journey. In the midst of very difficult circumstances I remained strong in the Lord and tried my best to put my family first. It wasn't easy. Grace covered the mistakes. I do remember taking the time to still serve others. It feel good to forget my own problems and think of anothers needs. It really does give you strength and encouragement for your Spirit to continue fighting. So many people did amazing things for myself and my family. Kindness doesn't even begin to describe it! When you have been on the receiving end of being blessed it fills you up to overflowing. The next step is to bless others.
Do something kind for another person next time you are feeling self-absorbed. I can almost grantee it will encourage your Spirit and help you to see others and yourself in a different light.
There is nothing like spending the day cleaning house. It was time for a good deep cleaning all over. I lost track of how many loads of laundry. All the bedding was washed, the floors washed and waxed and three dogs took a bath. I opened up all the windows in the house to let in the fresh fall air. I lit a yummy apple scented candle and cranked up the praise tunes. The hum of the dryer is still running as I type. I feel great after a long hard day cleaning away the dust, dog hair and clutter. It makes me think of Jesus own words to the Pharasees. They were good at keeping the outside clean, but the inside (like my house) was a mess.
"What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees.
Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and
the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too." Matthew 23:25-26
This reminds me of another lesson I have learned in my journey battling cancer. It is really important to take a personal inventory. What I mean by this is every so often do a self-examination of your heart, the inside of your heart: the cup. Jesus was pointing out that the Pharisees knew all the right words to say and even how to act. Most of the time they even fooled themselves and everyone around them. God can not be fooled. He knows your heart. You may even wonder why then do I need to take inventory? Good question. David is a good example of a man who desired to follow God's laws. He inquired of the Lord to show him what iniquity was hidden in his heart. Psalm 139 is a great example of a willing heart to be examined and shown any sin. The Pharisees didn't even want to look at the inside of their hearts. This is a dangerous place to be. To pretend everything is fine on the outside while deep inside you are a wreck. The solution is easier than you think. All it requires is a heart willing to acknowledge sin and then repent. When you start reading the Word more and more it reveals truth and lies hidden in your heart. Sometimes before you even go to the Word you know in your conscious that you did something wrong or you had motives that were wrong. That is the beauty of having the Holy Spirit to guide us along on our faith journey.
So today as I was cleaning away, I took inventory in my heart. I had to ask for forgiveness and clean up the inside of my heart. It was a beautiful thing. Now I have a clean cup.
I've heard it said many times, "Don't sweat the small stuff!" Truth is all of it's small stuff. It's the little things that add up into mountains. I am continuing to learn that all these things that consume my time really don't matter. It's not a big deal if I vaccum today or tomorrow. The laundry will eventually get washed, folded and put away. The dishes will get clean and stored in the cupboards. Bills will get paid, maybe not on time, but I will pay them. I'm not saying the throw in the white towel and surrender to all domesticated work. By no means, the world would come to a halt! I'm just saying that maybe it's good to relax and not sweat it. Yes these are my to-dos but really does it matter that the fridge is cleaned out every other Tuesday morning and laundry is only done on Fridays? These insane pressures I put upon myself to be or to look like super-woman to others are just plain silly. It really is small stuff. What is important is that I love those around me and pay attention to their needs. When I do this, these small things become my way of showing love and don't stress me out. I want to serve them by doing the small things. This is my faith expressing itself in love. There is no sense in worry or over-planing. God is in control and He directs my steps.
"Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own."
Matthew 6:34
Maybe I should have an outlook more like my dogs...they don't worry about anything!
In order to survive any day, regardless of health, wealth and any others uncontrollable circumstances one must log-in to the Word, the Logos. It doesn't have to be a set time everyday as long as you do it. For me mornings work best. Some days I rise early before the rest of the house and sun. Other days I wait till everyone is away. The point is to spend time in the Word; reading it, studying it, pondering it, memorizing it, cherishing it, etc. Unexplainable things will occur in your life as a result of this holy discipline, I promise. The eternal rewards are unmeasurable, the earthly benefits are priceless.
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Psalm 119:105 I have hidden your Word in my heart, so that I may not sin against you. Psalm 119:11
This is probably one of the hardest lessons that I had to learn in my journey of cancer. Before cancer was a household world in my family I was always the one helping others out. I would respond to the email and sign up to bring a meal to a family in need. I would go clean friends house or visit an elderly neighbor. Now the tables had been turned. It was up to me to ask for help. I know I needed it, I just had a hard time admitting it. So hard. So beautiful. It is a truly humbling experience to be served by the body of Christ. I can't even count all the times food was delivered to my doorstep. Several days I would come home to find that my entire house had been cleaned. Other times I would just have friends stop by to help with my son or just to visit. It truly was overwhelming the love and support my family received. My mailbox was chalk full of encouraging love notes. Friends called and left me messages or talked on the phone with me to pass the time. It was so encouraging to my Spirit.
You can miss the greater good out of receiving from others if you aren't truly humble and unwilling in your heart to receive. One must be willing to ask for help. This means you must be willing to let other in to your world and let them help. this is so hard to actually do. I have to say our family had some growing pains in this department. Overall we learned together what it means to serve others and to be served by others. This friends is true religion. True community of faithful believers expressing themselves in love. In the simple act of kindness represented in a meal, a card or a phone call. I can not stress enough the importance of recognizing in yourself when you need to ask for help. Don't be embarrassed or shy. Who am I to prevent others in the body to do good works? He has prepared them in advance for us all to do. I don't want to get in the way of God working in another believers life because I am too proud to ask and receive help.
"The only things that counts is faith expressing itself in love." Galatians 5:6
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do goodworks, which God prepared
in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
