Mending Fences

It's a sunny afternoon and the wind is howling outside.  I thought it would be warmer outside.  The wind bites hard.  Mama cow and calf need to move from their pen to the small field.  Today.  A storm is on it's way and they need the space to roam free, but not too free.  The fence needs some mending. So does my heart.  Loose ends flap in the harsh winds of life.  Unresolved forgiveness waits like the fence in need of repair. I need a Savior to fix and mend now. Barbed wire attached to T-posts needs to be re-stretched.  Can I bend anymore? Pulled in so many directions, I might just bust.  The fence has. It is need of repair. So am I.  How much voltage runs through these lines?  Can I withstand another jolt?

Chasing the wind...

It doesn't have to look pretty, it just has to keep the cows in.  Life is messy.  Laundry and bills are stacked up.  My long list of Spring to-dos keeps growing every day.  The wind gusts.  My lips are getting chapped.  Walking the fence line, again.  Keep checking it over in my mind for any place it could be grounding out.  This is a dangerous place for the heart.  I have been there.  Grounded out - hit rock bottom.  Nothing works.  It is all a struggle to survive.  The current has been interrupted.  This is a one-way street.  He has not left me, but I have left Him.

You never let me go...

 How does a heart get to this stage?  Just like the fence, it needs mending.  Daily mending.  Things happen and the fence gives way and the cows leave home.  Stuff happens.  Troubles come.

Hold onto me...

So we tie bailing twine around the part of the fence that is not electrified and tie it to the mesh panels.  We hope it will hold.  Will it?  I will keep checking on it, daily.  We build a rock wall to block the holes going under the mesh panels.  Like Nehemiah instructing the Israelite's to build the city walls one brick at a time.  Being watchful and ready for battle.  In one hand they worked with tools of the wall building trade, in the other a sword or shield ready for battle.  What of my daily routine is preparing me for battle at any given moment?  Am I prepared or are their holes in my fence?  I wish I could report that their are no holes.  I am getting better at spotting the holes and quickly repairing them.  This is a holy discipline.  This is the where God separates the true believers with the fake ones.  This is where faith is lived out in real action and fruit is the result.  This is not for the slow to learn as the writer of Hebrews (Chapter 5:11) distinguishes between those who crave milk or solid food.  If we are seasoned believers we should be chewing up the solid Word and not nursing the bottle of milk.  Harsh words for a beat up heart.  But the truth is clear -- I know what work needs to be done to get my heart mended, yet I procrastinate and like the cows they find the hole in the fence and now I have a mess.  So I must stay on top of it and keep mending the fences and my heart.

Don't let me loose my way...

This is what works for me.  I am still learning.  Maybe this will help you.
Steps to take when your heart needs some mending :

I won't try to pretend...
I've got it all figured out...

1.  Admit to God you need His help, direction and wisdom and seek a new heart. Pray Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me."
2.  Take some down time and be alone with your thoughts and listen for the Holy Spirit to speak
3.  Journal the experience (have your Bible)
4.  Write down a daily action plan for spiritual health to follow  (examples include: Year though the Bible, Jesus Calling daily devotional, The Daily Light on the Daily Path, My Utmost for His Highest, Prayer Journal)
5.  Confide in a trusted friend.  James 5:16 states, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
6.  Commit to memorizing scripture.  Psalm 119:11 states, "I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you."
7.  Be thankful for the struggle and opportunity for growth. "Be joyful always! Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I am in need of a change...
I am desperate for grace...
I've got a busted heart...

This is not a magic formula by any means.  It's just something that is working for me.  I am sure there are many other good things that could be added to this list. 

I have a busted heart just like the fence has a gaping hole screaming for cows to find their way out.  I love the words in this song...let it minster to your busted heart as it did mine.

 Chasing the wind...
 You never let me go...
 Hold onto me...
 Don't let me loose my way... 
 I won't try to pretend...
I've got it all figured out...
I am in need of a change...
I am desperate for grace...
I've got a busted heart...