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This last week has been a hard one. It has been seven days since my mastectomy surgery. On the third day of my recovery, I found out that my father slipped into eternity to forever be with the Lord. Deep sadness and grief flooded my heart. We knew the time was coming, so we were waiting. It wasn't a surprise. Truly it was an answer to prayer as my Dad had been unable to walk since last November. My Dad was 89 years old. I have many fond memories of my Dad growing up as a child as well as my adult married years. He will be missed greatly.
In the waiting for my own healing this week I have been doing some deep pondering. It's a good thing. To wait is to stay or delay action until a particular time comes or something changes in your circumstances. I've been told to wait and heal. Just rest, sleep, and basically do nothing until the next doctor's appointment. This has struck me differently this time around. There is a purpose in the waiting: patience.
Patience is having the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. I certainly can think of many times I have not had patience. Delay is similar to waiting for something to happen that you can't control. Delay also eludes to something late or happening slowly. As a basketball coach, one thing I really get frustrated with players is a lack of hustle. Do it right, do it now, and do it fast. I don't like waiting around for the girls to put the balls up on the rack. Run and put your ball away and return to the location instructed. Patience is a learned character trait. I must continue to work on that.
I've learned that God can handle the hurt, pain, and hard questions we have. You have to train for marathons. This life journey we are living is like a marathon. You never know when you might find yourself in a season of waiting. So you have to train like you aren't in a marathon so that when the hard waiting comes you are ready. Storms reveal foundations. Build a foundation that can't be washed away. God won't waste your pain.
"And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
Know this: your strength will fail you. You can't do it on your own strength, merit, or will. Nope! Here is where it gets so interesting. God knows this about us. He knows we are weak. He knows we will lose hope. But God provides a way for us to find courage and strength in the midst of waiting - waiting in the storms of life full of death, heartache, pain, suffering, you name it. So what do you do in this desperate time?
You wait on the Lord.
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength:
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Isiah 40:31
Friends I hope you find as much courage and strength in those words as I do. This season of waiting is full of waiting on the Lord. Just waiting.
"It takes courage to keep dreaming when the circumstances that surround you make it seem as though your life is more like a nightmare loop than a dream come true." Jordan Lee Dooley
