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Friday, July 13, 2012

If God

Before the day is over...
Today marks a year ago from when I first started chemotherapy.  It is hard to imagine that this past year has gone by as quickly as it did.  Looking back is bitter sweet.  Chemo is just not one of those things on your bucket list of things to do in life.  I can say now that I am very thankful it is in the past.  Hopeful to never revisit it again. Pondering today brings me back to days of agonizing waiting, patiently praying and constantly hoping in Hope.  He is faithful.  Great is His faithfulness unto me.
Me one year ago! July 13th, 2011

Last year I started chemo in the middle of my church's VBS.  It was a  hot Wednesday morning.  I remember it so vividly.  I can smell it.  It's funny how sounds and smells can bring you back to a previous experience.  Today I stood in the same sanctuary with the VBS crew and kids.  Today we sang songs, danced, played games and listened to Bible lessons.   Last year I sat in the pastor's office sprawled out on his couch.  I pulled myself together to lead the kids in song and direction.  This year I danced with them.  They may not understand why I make a complete idiot of myself dancing around to Jeff Slaughter tunes.  But God knows.  The simple truths we teach at VBS are the simple truths that got me through this last year. 

"Love God and love others" Luke 10:27

Admit
Believe
Confess

Awesome God! Amazing Power!

I wrote this in my journal last year:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord: He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."  
Psalm 91:1-2

This is the same place I hide in today.  When life has changed, my health gives way and I have nothing left to cling to, the Shelter is the only place of solace.  I have learned what the words of one of the VBS songs we sang this week really means.

If God by Jeff Slaughter

If God holds my days in His hands,
If God has power over my circumstance,
If God knows the plans he has for me,
Why should I fear? Why should I worry?

If God is for me who can be against me?
Whatever happens I know I can trust He is in control.

Cause God is for me who can be against me?

I have faced the giants.  God is on my side.  The struggle is part of the journey.  It's what makes us into the person God wants us to be.  If we never have to struggle, we wouldn't see the glory in it.  Christ in me the hope of glory.  That is what it is about.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow, it empties today of it's strength" Corrie Ten Boom
Written by another women who knew how to hide...
Dustin & me July 1, 2012