You know the feeling. It's the one you get when the screen pauses, the little arrow circle spins in slow-motion, the video you are watching just stops playing and you have to wait. You are waiting and waiting and you think to yourself will it ever load? Is my connection down, is the internet broken, maybe my battery is running low, did I drop my WiFi and I'm roaming now??? Yeah, we've all been there. Buffering is a lot like waiting.
I discovered something about the meaning of buffering -- the literal meaning of the word buffer as a verb, it means: to lessen or moderate the impact of something. Pondering that. I believe God has a purpose for all this buffering in my life. All this time spent: waiting. Waiting for test results. Waiting for doctor appointments. Waiting for surgery. Waiting for news, any news. It's in the waiting we learn life lessons, we hear the voice of God calling our name, we put our roots down a little deeper.
God is using the waiting time, this buffering, as a shield around me because if he was to deliver all the news at once it would be too much to handle. This is His way of teaching me to trust Him more, to prioritize what is important, to slow down and cherish each day, each moment, every memory. The buffering is like a protection zone. It's the calm before the storm. I know the storm is coming. The hard part is coming. I keep telling myself to hold on.
Lamentations 3:5 "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him."
Psalm 62:5 "My soul, waits silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him alone."
Psalm42:1 "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You O Lord."
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| How many deer do you see??? |
B: Brave, Bold, Breathe
U: Unity, Understanding, Undone
F: Faith, Family, Fullness
F: Fear, Fellowship, Future
E: Encouragement, Engagement, Epic
R: Rejoicing, Reading, Relaxing
I: Intercessor, Intelligent, Influential
N: Never-ending, New, Navigate
G: Goodness, Greatness, Grace
February 4, 2022, was the day I found out I had breast cancer. It has been a long 39 days. Today (3/15/2022) I go to Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis, MO, and meet with a new team of oncology doctors and surgeons. I am eager and filled with great anticipation for their advice and expertise.
I will post an update again when I have more information from my visit. Keep praying and posting comments. I love to hear from each of you!
