Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I can not thank you enough for your prayers. The last 3 days have been great. I have had a slight return to my appetite. It just seems that with chemo nothing is predictable. One day you may like orange juice the next day it's apple juice. The taste buds are just not doing their job. Most food takes metallic and bitter. I am doing my best to eat and drink. So far a favorite has to be mashed potatoes, good thing I live in Idaho where a bounty of taters is easy to find! I have spent my mornings outside in my garden. Nothing too strenuous, just sitting on the ground pulling those nasty weeds. Dustin has been helping me a lot with watering. We have some new kittens that we are trying to acclimate to the outdoor farm life. Hope you enjoy the photos! The first one is my garden...then Dustin and Tiger. Then the kittens discovered the tree. They took a cat nap in the tree, lucky them! Tiger and Skunk...both named by Dustin of course!
Keeping order isn't easy. I feel like many things in my life are just totally out of my control. I can't even predict when I might be hungry or tired. All planning for the day is out of the question. A complete lack of control over my every-day routine. This is a bit alarming for someone like myself. If you know me well enough, you know I am a planner. I love to plan! So this season of resting is hard. I am learning to be flexible. God is teaching me to trust Him more. If you have ever tried to read through 1Chronicles it can be a bit boring. I have learned to dig a bit deeper and ask God to show me some insight as to why he would want these lists of names in the Bible. Lots of names I can hardly read let alone pronounce. I have been reading about the Levites and the specific jobs given to each clan. God is in the business of keeping order. He is a planner. I love this. Each clan with in the Levites had a specific gift, a special calling of his own. A part to play in the grand scheme of developing a great nation. Some were master craftsmen, some were farmers, some musicians, some administrators of the temple treasuries. It is no accident that I am a planner. God gave me that gift. It is my desire to keep using it despite my circumstances. It is pushing me to look deep with in and reevaluate how, what and why I plan things. Some things just aren't worth the time and energy to plan. Yet God's plans prevail. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
God is in the business of keeping order in the house. Everything has purpose. I may not understand the purpose just yet, but I can trust in His wisdom and sovereignty. Thinking about each of these clans and their specific jobs leads me to believe God really does care about what jobs I do. Are they in line with the gifts He has chosen for me? Do I enjoy doing them?
The church body is a beautiful thing -- when it works together that is. All parts are needed. It can be a challenge sometimes to figure out what my gifts are. If you ask God, He will show you. Even more He will show you how to use those gifts for the body. I dare to be so bold and say if more of us would actually use the God given gifts we have the church would be healthier. I am learning to use my gift of planning in a new light. I can't see the end result from my vantage point. But, I am confident in the One who knows the plan -- start to finish. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11