Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Leason in Learning

So tomorrow I will find out what my platelet count is.  Oh the waiting has been hard!  I do pray all is well within.  I am truly grateful for so many of your prayers!  I am struck by Paul's words "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation." (Philippians 4:12)  It is in the learning that God is able to teach us how to be more like Him.  Learning is hard.  I am watching my son learn first grade spelling words.  His Dad is helping him out more than me, which is a good thing.  Tonight he was sitting at the table very frustrated.  Dustin said these words are just too hard! Then he had a moment where his head went flat on the table and promptly announced I quit!  My husband had some clever words and convinced Dustin to keep trying.  They made up games with the words so that Dustin could easily remember how to spell them.  It was not easy.  Eventually after many practice tests, Dustin memorized how to spell the words.  It took some effort and determination to not give up.  This is true for me as I have been waiting.  My strength has been renewed.  It has been great having two weeks between treatments.  I have been able to go wood cutting and tackle caning in my kitchen.  I have had to work hard at battling my mind and controlling my thoughts.  I have had to exercise my brain using the helmet of truth and my sword many times.  I desire to be content. The fact is I can't change my circumstances.  I get the opportunity to choose my perspective.  I choose to be happy, to be joyful to be thankful.  It is a choice.  I have learned that it is not easy to choose this attitude.  It seems the more determined I am to choose joy the more things go wrong.  The flood waters never end.  More bad news, more trouble on the horizon.  Like Paul I have learned to be content -- the Lord is my strength and portion.  Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." My hope is in Him.  It is good for me to be near God, He is my shelter, my hiding place.  I know where my help comes from.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  We have today -- the present, it is a gift.  How am I going to use my time?  How is my perspective today?  These are questions I ask in the secret place.  I pray earnestly "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give me my daily bread." (Matthew 6:10  Seeking first His kingdom and righteousness is the beginning to the learning process of contentment.  Whatever His will is I want it.  Yes-- even if it means cancer.  It is possible to be content even in the midst of cancer.  I have discovered it by learning from His Word...waiting, trusting, praying and listening. I am watching a dear friend of mine go through this battle as well.  Her name is Jeanie.  Many of you know her.  Today we agreed together in prayer -- His will, not ours.  It isn't easy.  But we will remain vigilant regardless of our circumstances.  Our bodies may fail, but our hearts belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.  Together with my sister in Christ, we stand strong claiming joy in the midst of difficult circumstances.  Amazingly a crazy feeling comes over me -- pure joy and peace.  Yes perfect peace.  It is a beautiful learning process. So grateful for the opportunity to take this test and learn. Enjoy this song by Matthew West -- Strong Enough

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