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Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Year Ago Today

Have you ever asked yourself what was I doing a year ago today?  Well I did that today.  Last year exactly a year ago I was in the hospital getting my colon removed and the cancer cut out.  Yep it was a year ago.  I can hardly believe it has been that long.  So much has happened between then and now.  The Lord has brought me so far.  I have so much further to go in my journey.  It is good to remember where you have been.  It is good to look back and remember what the Lord has brought you through.

"And Moses said to the people: "Remember this day in which you went out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the LORD brought you out of this [place]." Exodus 13:3

Mr. Star

For those that don't know the full story of my latest injury (drama) I thought I would update you.  On May 12th I was riding a horse.  I won't bore you with the details of why and how but in the end I was bucked off.  I landed on my tail bone and then whacked my head on the hard ground.  I knew instantly that I had done some damage.  I could move but was afraid I had hurt my back or neck.  So those with me called 911.  I was hoping for a fancy helicopter ride to Twin Falls.  Nope -- I wasn't bleeding.  The ride to Twin was long.  I don't remember anything about the ER visit.  I awoke the next day in a hospital room.  I had a concussion and had badly bruised my lower back and tail bone region.  I spent two nights in the hospital.  Sunday was Mother's Day and the anniversary of my diagnosis of colon cancer.  Next year I am locking myself in my bedroom on May 13th.  I was in terrible pain from my fall and was slow moving.  I came home and attempted returning to my normal activities.  The pain seemed to stay the same.  This past Thursday I went back to the doctor, who then informed me that I did indeed fracture my pelvis in two places.  YIKES!  This explains the pain and walking so awkwardly.  There is no band-aid to fix the fractures.  They heal on their own, much like a broken rib.  Over time it will heal.  Again -- I feel a common theme resurfacing.  More time waiting and resting has arrived, again.  More lessons to be learned, perhaps for myself and my family.  I am certainly sore and the bruising is improving (lovely colors). I find myself once again having to pace myself and judge how much can I really do with out over doing it.

I have heard from many of you since this latest incident.  It seems wrong to have to endure more trials -- more hardship -- it's just not fair.  Your are right.  But what can I do about it?  Absolutely nothing.  I have to embrace what comes my way and live.  Not just live, but fully live.  I am not in control.  Bad things happen to good people.  It's just a fact of life here on planet Earth.  There is always good wrapped up inside something that seems so bad or unjust.  It's a matter of perspective.  There is a common prayer I repeat daily: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Serenity: a state of being calm, having inner peace.  I need that all the time!

 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose."  Romans 8:28

"God takes the initiative to interrupt our lives for the higher cost of developing us into spiritually mature believers." A.W. Tozer

If you aren't facing some sort of crisis in your own personal life -- then brace yourself, because the storm is about to hit.  Trust me, you can bank on it.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. {like serenity} In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

  If not -- who are you really serving?  We have an enemy who prowls around seeking to steal, kill and destroy the life of believers.  We must fight the good fight and raise the shield of faith and not quit.  I hear about so many who want to raise the white flag and throw in the towel.  Not me.  I stand firm, knowing the battle at hand.  I am not immune to falling prey to the enemies traps, but I am getting wiser at detecting them laying in ambush before he strikes.  I am playing both offense and defense. Trials have a way of pealing away the layers that hinder our spiritual growth.  I want to grow.  I don't want to be a casual Christian.  This is the hard stuff. Faith is built over a lifetime.  Not overnight.  Old habits die hard.  New habits require discipline.  Trials go hand in hand with fire.  Fire burns away the imperfections.

"You have to have more than simple growth; you have to have trials to bring you to perfection." A.W. Tozer

"Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary [principles] of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God..." Hebrews 6:1

We are aiming for perfection.  It is impossible on our own.  In Christ we are becoming perfect.  It is our goal to become more and more like Him...moving in the direction of perfection.  Our faith grows as a result of the trials we face.  We can choose to embrace them and thank God for the hiccups along the road or we can curse the ground and complain our way through life.

Be joyful always! 
Pray Continually;
Give thanks is ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

How will you remember this day a year from now?

1 comment:

  1. oh goodness! I commented on this weeks ago, but obviously my comment didn't stick. :( Life has a way of revealing Romans 8:28 in a way that gets increasingly uncomfortable. But as you said from the beginning, you didn't want to waste your cancer...so be it in all things, don't waste the trial, no matter what it is and the Lord WILL use it to bring you closer to perfection. Love and hugs! Hope you are feeling better!!

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