Day 22 Be Thankful

Life is messy.  Stuff happens.  Words are spoken that you can't take back.  Circumstances are UN-controllable.  Here is a definition I like for thanksgiving:  Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives -- thanksgiving is the manifestation of our yes to His grace.  It's choosing the have a thankful heart and live in a way that reflects gratitude regardless of circumstances -- yes, even cancer!

1 Thessalonians 5:16  Be joyful always. Pray continually.  Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I'm still learning this.  But the crazy thing is this: discovering joy and the freedom that comes from having a thankful heart is changing me.  I am learning to not complain and to recognize the things I can not change.  All means all.  All the time we are to be thankful -- you can fill in the blank...

Day 21 Renew Strength & Grow Stronger

This last year has been like having a sabbatical.  All of my so called "normal" every-day chores were just impossible for me to accomplish.  I had to learn to let go of my to-do's and hang onto God in a brand new way.  I did a lot of waiting.  I did a lot of counting.  I counted days.  My days consisted of waiting till the next treatment or lab results...waiting.

Isaiah 40:29  God gives strength to the weary and he increases the power of the weak.

12 rounds of chemotherapy later I have learned what it means to wait on the Lord.  Through it all I discovered I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).  It's not about me, but about Christ in me, that's how I made it through...daily...moment by moment.

Day 20 Wrestle

I have learned it's okay to ask the hard questions.  Why me? Why now?  One must come to a place in their own personal spiritual journey and accept the sovereignty of God.  He is good -- all the time.

Ask God  questions like, Isaiah 40:27 Why do you say O Jacob and complain, O Israel, my ways are hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God.?  Another words, ahhh God it's me..don't you see me?  Well don't you see that I have a life going on right now, a son to take care of, chores, friends and family...I'm busy!  They say it's cancer God...Don't you see my pain?

"The only ones we can rest in God are the ones who have wrestled with God...I will not let go until you bless me...There is no tighter embrace than the grip of the wrestle." Ann Voskamp

Day 19 Trials

Trials are an opportunity to prove the faithfulness of God in our lives.  Cancer has been the hardest thing I've had to face in my life.  I've heard it said that God won't give us more than we can handle.  I don't believe this anymore.  I think He gives us more so that we can reflect Him and His power to others.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God.

Ephesians 3:20 To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us.

This gives us the opportunity to share with others the power given to us by Christ.  It doesn't make sense to those of the world.  A believer has the ability to rise above their cicumstances and even display joy and peace.  This is only possible when an investment in the Kingdom has been made.  By this I am reffering to spending time in the Word.

Psalm 1:1-3 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.  He shall be a like tree planted by rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season.  Whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper."   

Picture the tree, standing tall next to the river.  It's roots go down deep, tapping into a vast water resource for nourishment.  When the wind blows it is not moved.  When storms pass by it's leaves do not wither.  In the right season it bears fruit.  This is a picture of a believer.  During the good and bad times growth is going on beneath the surface.  The roots of a believer are sinking deeper into the Word.  The Living Water quenches all thirst. Now the storm begins.  The believer is unmoved and stands strong.  More amazing than just being able to stand is the demeanor of the believer.  They have an unexplainable joy lifting them above circumstances.    This joy is a fruit. This peace is a fruit.

Good berean's know all about God's character and are able to let His overwhelming glory override the pain of their circumstances.  True happiness is controlled by your allegiance.  Having an allegiance to Christ gives you the golden ticket to true happiness despite the presence or absence of storms in your life.

Day 18 Laugh

Laugh.  Yes learn to laugh at yourself.  Laugh at life.  Live to enjoy each moment.

So Cal look at baseball game

Dustin always  makes me laugh!

Kisses from the Lab!

Having a squirt gun fight

Day 17 How to Answer the Question of Why

Do you have unanswered prayers?  Do you ask why to God?  I have and I still do.  There is no problem in asking the why questions.  We may never totally understand or even get an answer this side of heaven.  The one thing I have learned is the answer to all the whys lies totally upon Jesus Christ.   I know this sounds rather obvious to most of us.  The reality is it is true and I will prove it. When we can't see through the fog, the pain and frustrations we must trust in His abundant love for us.  I have spent many hours sitting with my Bible open, pen in hand and journal laid upon my lap.  Searching and reading and re-reading the words over and over.  Trying to find answers to my deepest hurts.  The hurts that keep you awake at night.  The pain that suffocates your ability to put one foot in front of the other.  The constant nagging of circumstances.  Yes I have been there.  We have an amazing story in the Bible about real people who experienced unanswered prayers, long nights and family drama.  I am referring to Lazarus, Mary and Martha.

Read John 11

After reading this passage of scripture I have many more questions rather than answers.  Why did Jesus wait so long to go to this family?  Why did Martha run out of the house and meet Jesus, while Mary sat inside?  Ultimately we learn from this story that Jesus' ways are just plain different than our ways.  He ultimately had a purpose for everyone involved to see how His ways work best.  To the disciples who didn't want to travel back to Judea, for fear of being stoned to death to raising a man from the grave.  Jesus had a plan.  It was a great plan.  His timing is always best.  It did not seem like it to this town and certainly not to Martha and Mary.  Why would Jesus let their brother die?  Jesus loved Lazarus.  Even Jesus was moved to weep over his death.  Yet He was here on earth to do the will of the Father who sent Him.  The purpose of Lazarus death was to prove to those questioning His authority that Jesus Christ had power even over death! So that they would believe in the resurrection power of Christ.  One of the great "I Am" statements in the book of John is penned in the twenty-fifth verse. 

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live." And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26

I am sure the 4 days leading up to Jesus arrival were filled with why questions and no answers.  For both Mary and Martha say to Jesus when he does arrive, if only you had been here. What Mary and Martha did not know during the previous four days is that Jesus was there.  He was waiting for the perfect time to arrive to make a case and display His power.  When I am tempted to dwell on the why questions I must force myself to focus on the character of Jesus.  To know His heart and accept His will.  He is all about love and wanting what is best for me.  That doesn't mean it turns out the way I think it should.  I am forced over and over to to catch myself in this why game, then I stop myself and remember Jesus words to the Father:

 "And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said [this], that they may believe that You sent Me." John 11:42

Jesus does things according to what the Father wants.  The words of my why questions fade.  I realize Jesus lives to intercede on my behalf to the Father. (See Hebrew 7:25) I want His will.  Lazarus was in the grave four days, yet he lived again.  I'd say that is a huge answer to a why.  So others would believe in Jesus.  So maybe when some of my whys don't turn out the way I think or they just take too long, it's because God wants others to believe Him through my "death."  I say "death" not meaning in a literal sense but just plug in whatever circumstance you are questioning. Others see my life and have opportunity of their own to draw closer to the Father or turn away.  I hope and pray that through the experiences I have been through others are encouraged to draw closer to the Father.

Day 16 Conquering Perfectionism

Why do I have such a desire to be perfect at everything I do?  Why do I stress and sweat over all the details?  I want my projects to reflect a job well done.  I want things to just look right.  I guess it's not all that bad wanting to be perfect.  After all Jesus said be perfect.

 "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:48

It's not so bad to want to be perfect, it's how I go about it.  What are my underlying motives and how am I actually going to accomplish this perfectionism in my life?  It will cost me time, energy and possibly relationships.

I have had to give up on this notion to be perfect.  To be superwoman and do it all, perfectly.  A wise friend told me once that God desires excellency from his children, so seek Him and do a few things excellently instead of all the above with mediocrity. I like this advice.  My friend is a wise woman!  So I have learned to pick a few things to be involved in outside of the home and I do them well.  I have to constantly evaluate the new projects that come across my path.  I have to weigh them out and see if they meet my criteria for participating.  I have had to say no to some really good things.  I also have had to step down from things I was involved in.  God has showed me in His Word what is good for me in this season of life.  What a good balance of activities is verses stressing myself out trying to manage my level of perfectionism.  It's just so hard for me to say no, when there are so many good things to be involved in.  I am slowly learning this lesson. Saying no to an activity can cause disappointment with friends and include social pressures.  I can honestly say deep in my heart this has happened to me and over time I was really thankful I listed to the Lord.  He knew what I could handle and what was too much.  I know myself, I want to give 100%.  I just tend to spread myself out too thin and wear myself out.

I have one of those decisions to make before me now.  I need to step down from something that is dear to my passions as a plant lover, yet God has been clear, it is time to move on.  I also have a ministry opportunity knocking on my door to serve and lead children.  Both of these weigh heavy on my heart.  I know God will be clear.  I have to listen to His voice.  I know that my desire to do it all and be all clouds His ability to work through me.  I get too busy and forget I am a reflection of Christ - the perfect one.  I am to represent Him the spotless lamb, the holy righteous one, the hope of glory to a world around me.  If I am too busy trying to be perfect for me, then I will miss being perfect for Him and others will miss it too.

Read other posts from the 31 Days Challenge here.