Looking Back

The end of 2011 is near. It has been filled with much excitement and heartache. A year to remember for sure.  Many amazing things have happened.  I thought that it would be good to write down some of the blessings and share them with you.  Our family has been here in Idaho for 6 1/2 years now. We moved here with the hopes of farming and ranching and raising a family.  Our first farm we intended to purchase did not work out.  Needless to say I was 9 months pregnant and we lived with my husbands brother and wife.  This continued post Dustin arriving for four months.  We found the farm we now reside on.  It had a double wide trailer for a home.  It worked for it's purpose and was very comfortable for our family of three.  We had dreams of building a house at some point in the future.  It was my hearts desire and prayer the last 5 years to have a home.  The house that sits on our lane heading back to the trailer sat empty for 1 1/2 years.  It was the original farmhouse on our property.  We would drive by and just not look.  God was working in the background.  He always is!  In January of 2011 we inquired about the house.  We prayed.  The price had been reduced once again.  The bank was working on the deal.  On February 14, 2011 we signed the papers for the house.  This truly was a miracle.  It has been a prayer of mine to have a home for our family - a place for family and friends to gather.  It is at the core of a women's being to have a home and decorate and entertain.  I wanted an oasis for my family.  God saw my heart's desire and granted the request.  His timing was perfect.  Shortly after moving in to the house my health became a huge concern.   On May 13, 2011 I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Two weeks later post surgery, we knew it was stage 111 and chemotherapy was required.  Talk about a bomb shell being dropped.  But, we had a home - a place of rest.  A room for visitors and overnight guests.  A great peace washed over me. Just knowing that we had a home to dwell in and welcome the extra help during my days of recovery was huge. 

My basket of cards!

Dustin at the Tide Pool at Sea World

I had many friends come and prepare the soil in my garden, plant my garden and water my garden.  We had many meals delivered.  I had cleaning angels knock on my door to vacuum, dust, mop floors and do laundry.  I had a roof put on my chicken coop. The blessings kept coming.  My mailbox overflowed with cards, notes and sweet words of encouragement. These literally kept me going day to day moment to moment.  The power of prayer has blessed me greatly.  As I look back, every physical need my family had was met.  In July, our family was able to take a short vacation to San Diego.  We took Dustin to Sea World and enjoyed some much needed family time. 
There have been some long days and nights over the past year. Many trips to the new hospital (great timing on that too!).  I have had countless doctor appointments, many lab draws for blood work and one trip to the ER.  God has proven once again His faithfulness.  We have remained hopeful.  I have completed 10 rounds of chemotherapy.  I have pushed through the nausea, aches, pains and long list of side-effects of the too many to name drugs I am taking.  Most of all we are a family.  Together we have overcome the obstacles in our path.  The Lord has fought for us.  He has made a way.  His power in us carried us through.  He is able to do exceedingly more.  His goodness overwhelms me.  We are a testimony to His faithfulness.  Many would be ruined financially by this ordeal.  Our health insurance is good. Our God is gracious.  He has shown compassion.  Our farm has done well this year.  We have reaped a bountiful harvest and are blessed.  We are grateful, humble and stand in awe.
My longing for heaven increases daily.  When I ponder my earthly trials and so called "suffering" I know that nothing will compare to the glory that awaits me - face to face with my Savior.  It will be worth all the pain and drama of the last year of our lives.This road is worthy, because Jesus paid the ultimate price.  I am strong only because He lives in me.  My joy rests upon relationship with Him.  His Word is alive, it consumes me day and night.  Thankfulness.  Deep eucharisteo has been birthed out of this season.  New levels of spiritual discovery and intamacy with the almighty.  You could say I have tapped into my own
"glory hole."  The gold I have found can not be bought.  It is worth the journey I have taken to find it. The time spent seeking His comfort, mercy and strength is worth the struggle.  I have traded my sorrows, my ashes for beauty.  Only God can create (bara) something out of nothing. He isn't finished.  2012 is a few days a way.  I continue to wait upon Him. I don't know what 2012 holds, but I know that it will be good!