Luehrs Line --------------------: Seasons Do Change

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Seasons Do Change

Welcome to 2012! I don't know about you but I am eager to engage in what this year holds. I feel like standing as close to the edge and peaking over it...hoping to get a glimpse of what is in store. Funny how we so desperately want to know what is next and yet it is kept under wraps till the perfect time. Hindsight is always the best place to reflect. This is where faith and real living play out. What does the next phase of life look like? What is in store for me, for my family? So many questions come to the surface. Yet I wait, hope and trust in a living and faithful God. My angst is put to rest and I breathe in His Word. I sit in silence. I journal. I play my guitar. I sing. I wait. I am trying to figure out what is next in my journey. How involved do I let myself become? How much do I hold back? Words like, "just say no Anna...you need to rest more" plague me. How much rest Lord is needed? As many of you know I am a go, go , go type A person. This year has taught me much about myself. This season of dormancy to rest and to be still has been so fruitful to my body and Spirit. I am very grateful for the quiet days and short list of to-dos. I sense the season changing. I am having to look deep with in at the things I want to do. The gentle whisper of his voice speaking over me catches me off guard. It hits me: what I want to do. Opps. It's not about what I want to do. It is what He wants me to do. I want to rely on Him to guide me, give me His heart and show me what His plans are. I am so wrapped up in want I want to do I am afraid I'll miss what He has prepared for me to do.

"True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with and open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse you with a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me." Sara Young, Jesus Calling.

So my journey of profound reliance continues. I wait again. I don't get tired of waiting. Before this season I would grow impatient and forget what I was really waiting for. Sometimes the lesson is learned in the waiting. or the answer comes through the waiting. It's all perspective. What once seemed like an impossible situation became an amazing miracle. I see His Glory and Power at work in these difficult situations.

I just finished my 11th round of chemo. One more round to go. It has been a long road. Many days of feeling like will this ever end are coming to a close. I have had to endure much. Not alone mind you. The Lord has been so faithful through it all. My strength has been renewed daily. I have my CT scan scheduled for the 27th of January. I believe strongly that this CT scan will result in a clean bill of cancer free! It will be the days, weeks, months and years ahead that will be more difficult. I remain hopeful and I trust that God is faithful. Whatever He has planned is good. I will remain diligent to care for my well being and take all the necessary steps to ensure that.

I hope to write more about what is next for. me. Again I am waiting. Praying that the Lord directs my steps and gives me a clear picture for the future. Seasons don't stay the same forever. Looking forward to a change.

1 comment:

shmilyluehrsJanuary 13, 2012 at 9:16 PM
I will pray over you that you do not lose the perspective you have gained during this unique time. It is so easy for the cares of life to choke out the Word of the Lord with relentless distractions that seem to demand our attention. I pray the seeds that have been sewn in your heart over these months will take root and bear 100 fold fruit! (Matt 13)
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My Cancer Story

Many have asked me how long have you been sick? When did this all begin? Tough questions even for me to answer...all I can say at this point is I finally found some Doctors who listened to all my symptoms and did something about it. Late in April 2011 I went to see a family practitioner who sent me to a GI specialist for a colonoscopy. This resulted in a diagnosis on May 13th, 2011 of cancer in the colon. The extent was unknown at that point in time. I had to wait until Monday May 16th, 2011 for a CT scan. Then wait till Tuesday for an appointment with the surgeon, who would later remove the colon. I was informed of the biopsy results: adenocarcinoma. The CT did not show any signs of the cancer spreading to other organs (praise the Lord). In fact the CT did not even show the tumor. It was estimated by the GI Doctor to be the size of a golf ball. So surgery was scheduled for May 31st, 2011. Surgery was successful. They removed about a foot of the sigmoid colon and 20 lympnodes. I had to wait again for lab results. On June 2nd, 2011 I was told about the lab results. The tumor had evaded through the colon wall. Two out of the twenty lymph nodes tested positive for cancer. This elevated the stage of my cancer to 3 B. This is when I knew chemotherapy would be necessary. Recovery from surgery went well. GI functions are returning on their own and pain was easily controlled. I had my first appointment with the oncology team at MSTI (Twin Falls) on Friday June 17th, 2011.

I started chemotherapy on July 13th. The plan was set to give every two weeks for infusion treatments of poison. Sounds great on paper. The reality is this: chemo drugs deplete the body of healthy cells as well as potential rouge cancer cells. Keeping this schedule of every two weeks has proven to be difficult. On my off weeks I get my blood levels checked. This is to determine if it is "safe" enough for me to get chemo again. Safe...uh...it's poison right? Anyway chemo treatments have come and gone now, twelve in all. I finished up with my last round on January 27th.

On January 29th 2012 I had a CT scan. My oncology doctor said everything looked fine. No cancer detected. Doing the party dance! I am officially on the other side of living cancer free. I am celebrating in many ways. This has been the hardest thing in my life to do. Not to mention to try to balance so called "normal" life at home on the farm.

As far as the future goes with my health I have a few more doctor appointments scheduled. I will have another colonoscpy in May. For now, it is just watch and monitor my blood work and pray cancer doesn't return. Prognosis is good and I am believing and trusting in a mighty God. He is faithful!

Fast forward seven years -- 2018! Still cancer free! After many lab tests, blood work and CT scans so far no cancer detected. Miracles still happen everyone!

Favorite Quotes

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It's what sunflowers do. Helen Keller

"Every good work should be a revelation of the glory of God. What makes the good deed an act of love is not the raw act, but the passion and the sacrifice to make God himself known as glorious. Not to aim to show God is not to love, because God is what we need most deeply. And to have all else without him is to perish in the end. The Bible says that you can give away all that you have and deliver your body to be burned and have not love (1 Corinthians 13:3). If you don't point people to God for everlasting joy, you don't love. You waste your life." John Piper ---Don't Waste Your Life

"Surrender is the key that unlocks the vault of God's best and deepest treasures." Charles Swindoll

"You can't move people to action unless you first move them with emotion. The heart comes before the head." John Maxwell

Spiritual growth is a conundrum. The key to spiritual growth is developing healthy and holy routines called spiritual disciplines. But once routine becomes routine we need to change the routine. Why? Because sacred routines become empty rituals if we do them out of left-brain memory instead of right-brain imagination. When we learn how and forget why we start going through the motions spiritually. Mark Batterson

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. --Reinhold Niebuhr

Luehrs Line --------------------

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Seasons Do Change

1 comment:

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